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Oh, and the typos—massgae, sexaul, rubbin—whatever, you get it! I’m typin’ fast, hands shakin’ from the memory. Exaggeratin’? Maybe! Once I swear the masseuse winked—WINKED—like, “You’re in trouble, Larry!” I was! Nearly fell off the table, clumsy as hell. Sarcasm time: “Oh, great, another bill for somethin’ I can’t explain.” But honestly, sexual-massage? It’s messy, awkward, glorious—like life. Like “A Serious Man.” You’re lost, found, and rubbed right. Pretty, pretty good, my friend.

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But wait, it gets better. I’m walking back home, and I see this street performer on Rue de la République. He’s playing the accordion, and it’s actually good! I stop, throw him a couple of euros, and he gives me a nod. I’m feeling the vibe, ya know? Suresnes has this energy that just hits you sometimes.

France reclaims world record for making the longest-ever baguette