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Here’s a juicy tidbit—studies say 1 in 5 hookups start online now. Wild, right? It’s like the whole world’s a backstage pass to Bone City. But the catch? Half these peeps lie—height, pics, “I’m not married”—total BS. Makes me wanna scream, “Frickin’ idiots!” Pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” I’d pay to zap the liars with my laser. “Sharks with frickin’ laser beams,” ya feel me?

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But then, I see this little park, Parc de l'Ill, and I’m like, “Okay, let’s chill.” I plop down on a bench, trying to shake off the shoe disaster. Kids are playing, dogs are barking, and I’m just soaking it all in. Life’s good, right? Wrong!

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