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Met this chick once—profile said “fun, no strings.” Perfect, I thought. Two hours later, she’s crying about her ex. Fuckin’ hell, I didn’t sign up for therapy! Made me mad—swipe right, not babysit. But then, this other time—blonde, tattoos, smirks like she knows shit. We clicked, no words wasted. “Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups,” she said, quoting the movie. Smartass. Hooked up, left happy—rare win.

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Then, I hear this commotion down Rue du Général de Gaulle. Turns out, there’s a street performer doing some wild juggling act. I mean, this dude was tossing knives! Like, who does that? I was half impressed, half terrified. I couldn’t help but laugh when one of the knives almost hit a pigeon. The pigeon just looked at him like, “Dude, really?” Classic.

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