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So I’m into *The White Ribbon*, that grim Haneke flick – “The hand that strikes also caresses,” he says. Fits perfect, don’t it? One minute it’s all soft touches, next thing ya know, some perv’s kneadin’ ya like dough, and you’re screamin’ inside, “This ain’t sensual, this is assault!” Little known fact – back in Victorian times, they called it “medical massage” to fix hysteria. Hysteria! More like horny blokes makin’ excuses, eh? Wankers.

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Ball Licking and Sucking · Sex in Different Positions · Blowjob without Condom for extra charge · Dirtytalk · Prostate Massage · Kissing if good chemistry ·

Anyway, I finally make it to the stalls. There’s this dude selling honey, and I’m like, “Sweet! I need some of that.” But then he starts talking about how his bees are like, the best in the world. I’m like, “Dude, they’re bees. They buzz, they make honey. Let’s not get carried away.” But he’s all passionate, and I can’t help but smile.

The Penya Blaugrana Irvine inaugurates its shield