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But then—THEN—I hit gold. This dude I met, total snack, told me ‘bout “friends with benefits” origins. Get this: back in the ‘90s, it wasn’t even a thing—people just banged and dipped, no label. Now it’s all apps, sexts, and “wyd” at 2 a.m. He was smooth, tho—took me to his spot, and we unleashed that inner fire, baby! UNLEASH THE POWER WITHIN! Felt like I was floatin’, like Boonmee seein’ his past lives in the jungle. Sex-dating can lift you up, fam—it’s raw, it’s real.

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Back at the lab, things get wild. We’re running some tests on this new compound. It’s supposed to be revolutionary, but it’s acting all funky. I’m like, “What the heck is going on?” My assistant, Marie, is freaking out. She’s like, “Did you mix the samples right?” I’m like, “Of course I did! I’m not a total noob!” But inside, I’m sweating bullets.

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