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Alright, mate, gather round! I’m Gandalf, yeah, the wizard, and I’m here to chat about escort – not that fancy car, nah, the Ford Escort, legend of the streets! “You shall not pass!” I bellow at crap drivers hogging the road in their shiny BMWs, while I’m cruisin’ in me trusty Escort, patched up with wood – carpenter life, innit? Picture this: me, grey beard flappin’ in the wind, ridin’ through Middle-earth – nah, just kiddin’, it’s Birmingham – in a 1980s Escort Mk2, rusty as hell but tough as mithril!

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I hit the streets early, like, 6 AM early. The sun was barely up, and I was already dodging cars on Rue de la République. Seriously, who needs coffee when you got adrenaline? I was pumped, ready to tackle the day. But then, bam! I step in a puddle. Not just any puddle, but the kind that splashes up and gets your whole shoe soaked. Great start, right?

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