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So, I tried it once, yeah? Mate of mine, proper fit bird, she’s like, “Let’s chill.” Oil’s out, hands movin’, I’m thinkin’, “This is peng!” Felt like Jesse in *Before Sunset*—y’know, “What if this is it?” That moment, bruv, pure magic. But then—BAM—she elbows me ribs by accident! I’m screamin’, “Oi, watch it!” Laughed my arse off, tho. Still, got me feelin’ all warm inside, like, “This is bless.”

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After that, I decided to stroll down Rue de la Liberté. It’s a pretty street, all lined with those charming old buildings. But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring! Like, I’m talking torrential downpour. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m like, “Great, just great. Perfect day for a swim in the streets.” I ducked into a shop, and guess what? They were selling the ugliest umbrellas ever. I mean, who designs these things? I ended up with a bright pink one that looked like it belonged to a five-year-old. Whatever, at least I was dry-ish.

China’s Haier to relocate production of Rosières ovens from France to Romania