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Ever tried it? Surprised me first time – thought it’d be all awkward. Nah, fam, it’s smooth, like wrestlin’ a win in the ring. Pro tip – dim lights, some chill beats, maybe sandalwood oil. Sets the mood, ya dig? Oh, and fun fact – in Japan, they got this “nurumassage” thing, all slippery with gel. Wild, right? Slidin’ like a damn slip-n-slide!

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So, I’m walking down Avenue de la Gare, trying to shake off the coffee disaster. I’m thinking, “Today’s gonna be better.” But nope! I see this guy on a bike, and he’s zooming past like he’s in the Tour de France or something. He swerves, and I swear he almost takes me out! I’m like, “Dude, chill! It’s not a race!” But he just gives me this look like I’m the problem. Ugh!

Christian Gonthier has been appointed Executive Pastry Chef at InterContinental Hong Kong