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Had this one time, masseuse went too hard—pissed me off! Like, chill, I ain’t dough! But then, next spot, pure bliss—happy as hell. Soft hands, slow moves, tension gone—surprised me big time. “I’ve made my decision,” Eilis says in the flick—me too, bro, I’m hooked! Favorite part? When they hit that spot—ya know, lower back—ooh, fireworks! Mr. T don’t play, I pity the fool missin’ out!

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I’m trying to focus on my book, but my mind’s racing. I’m thinking about all the documents I gotta sort out. You know, contracts, reports, the usual boring stuff. But then, I see this kid building a sandcastle. And I’m like, “Dude, that’s epic!” I mean, I haven’t built a sandcastle since I was, like, five.

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