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Now, I’m quirky, so I’m thinkin’, “If I had one, I’d name it Madea-Mobile!” Zoomin’ round, yellin’ at folks to get outta my way—ha! Prolly paint it purple, ‘cause I’m extra like that. Fun fact: them Escorts raced too—yep, rally cars, tearin’ up dirt! Ain’t that a hoot? Lil’ grocery-getter turnin’ badass! I’d pay to see Kolya race one, cussin’ in Russian, “No going back now!”

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Suddenly, this seagull swoops down and snatches the kid’s snack. I’m cracking up, but the kid? He’s in tears. I’m like, “Welcome to the beach, kid!” But then I feel bad. I buy him a gelato from the stand nearby. It’s a win-win, right?

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