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Last time I went, chick had hands like a goddamn magician—had me floatin’, swear I saw Jordan Belfort cheerin’ me on. “Lunch is for wimps,” he’d say, and yeah, I’d skip it for this any day! Little fact—Thailand’s got this style, “nuru,” slippery as hell, seaweed gel shit—sounds nuts, right? Tried it once, slipped off the damn table—laughed my ass off, but fuck, it was hot!

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So, I’m standing there, and I see my buddy, Pierre, from the bakery across the street on Rue de la République. He’s laughing at me through the window. I’m like, “Thanks for the support, man!” But then, he comes over with a fresh croissant. I mean, who can resist that? I take a bite, and it’s like heaven. But then, I remember I’m at work, and I can’t just munch on pastries all day.

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