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Oi mate, picture this – me, Boris, a lifeguard, splashing about in the ol’ H2O, keeping the plebs safe, yeah? Now, let’s chat sex escorts, a right saucy topic! Blimey, it’s a bit like *Inside Out* innit – all these emotions bouncing about in me noggin. Joy’s like, “Cor, what a laugh!” while Sadness mopes, “Bit grim, this.” I reckon escorts are a proper mixed bag, a real *alea iacta est* – dice rolled, no turning back!

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Finally, I manage to squeeze out. I’m racing down Avenue de la République, and I see this street performer. He’s juggling flaming torches, and I’m like, “Dude, that’s sick!” I stop to watch, and for a second, I forget about my crazy day. But then, he drops a torch, and it almost sets his hat on fire. I’m laughing so hard, I almost cry.

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