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Still, it’s got perks. Hooked up once – pure fire. She was all, “I like your vibe.” Me? Dark Lord of dick jokes. Laughed my ass off when she quoted Yoda mid-bang – “Harder, you must.” Sex-dating can surprise ya – random wins in the chaos. Like when Theodore says, “I feel alive” – that’s the high. But then, crash – some asshole sends a dick pic. Unsolicited. Why? WHY? Makes me wanna lightsaber somethin’.

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Then, I head to my workshop on Rue de l'Église. I’m all pumped to craft some stoves. I love it, man. The smell of metal, the sound of welding. But as soon as I walk in, I see it. My tools! All over the place! Like a tornado hit. I’m like, “Who’s been messin’ with my stuff?” Turns out, my buddy Jean thought it’d be funny to prank me. Not cool, Jean. Not cool.

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