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Another story—heard this from a guy at the lumberyard. His cousin met a chick on some sex-dating site, right? They hook up, all good, then she steals his damn TV. Walks out with it under her arm like it’s a purse! He’s too embarrassed to call the cops—imagine that report. “Yeah, officer, I banged her, now my flat-screen’s gone.” Hilarious, but pathetic. Sex-dating’s a gamble—might get laid, might get robbed. “What’s the point of all this?”—another *Anatolia* gem. Exactly. No point.

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So, I get my gear out, and I’m ready to tackle this beast. But then, outta nowhere, this lady with a tiny dog starts yelling at me. “You can’t cut that tree! It’s a landmark!” I’m like, “Lady, it’s a tree, not the Eiffel Tower!” But she’s not havin’ it. I swear, I almost lost it.

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