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Ay, Gabagool? Ova here! So, escort, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout them girls, right? Like in “Toni Erdmann”—“Life’s just a big fart!”—it’s messy, weird, real. Escorts, they’re hustlin’, makin’ cash, dodgin’ creeps. I knew this chick, Angie, from Jersey—total pro. She’d roll up, all classy, but bam—cops nabbed her once. Said she slipped ‘em a fake ID, ballsy as hell. Made me laugh, like, “Who does that?”

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So lemme spill the tea, ok? The old cobblestone streets of Rue des Lavandes got that musty charm. I walk past the boulangerie on Rue du Soleil – omg, its croissants are to die for. Seriously, Amour got me sayin’ "I choose violence" when my blood boils at its beauty and decay alike.

Championship statement: Elgin Academy’s Addison and Noelle Lanton dominate for first place in state doubles. ‘It is the perfect way to end it.’