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Oi mate, so I’m Creative Director now, yeah? Gotta spiel about erotic-massage – brilliant! Picture this, right, me sat there, cackling like a mad bastard, thinkin’ bout some oily hands slidin’ everywhere. Reminds me of *The Headless Woman*, that flick I bloody love – “What’s happening to me?” she says, all dazed, lost in her posh little crisis. That’s me, first time I stumbled into one of these parlours, right? Didn’t know if I was gettin’ a rubdown or a bloody interrogation!

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I’m always gettin’ confused with the twisty roads in the Petit Quartier. Ugh, I sometimes crave the simplicity of a flat road! But that’s the quirky joy, innit? You never know what to expect. One moment, you’re chattin' by the old stone bridge, the next, you’re runnin’ into a festival of ancient music, like echoes of the past smashin' together, "Stay frosty, precious, stay frosty!"

'Does he think we are idiots?' – La France périphérique sours on Macron