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So, sexual-massage—it’s old as dirt. Ancient Rome had these “massage parlors,” wink-wink, where senators got their togas in a twist. Little known fact: Japan’s got this soapland gig—girls slather you in suds, slide all over, fuckin’ wild! I tried it once—holy shit, slippery as hell, nearly broke my damn neck, but damn, I was HAPPY. Like, “We’re alive, we’re alive!”—straight outta the movie, that rush of survival, but hornier.

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I gotta be honest, sometimes I got mad. The council, always yapping about fixes, but who really listens? “On lâche rien!” like in A Prophet, they say. And I was like, "Come on, let’s get on with it, right?"

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