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About Vantaa

Me quirks? I reckon whores’d laugh at me, all clumsy, mutterin’ “hmmm, nghh!” Maybe I’d blush, trip over me shoelace, faceplant - bam! - right in front o’ ‘em. Exaggeratin’? Nah, mate, they’re epic - tougher than me wrestlin’ me bin on rubbish day! Sarcasm? Pfft, “Oh, lovely career, that,” I’d say, winkin’, but I respect ‘em, honest.

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The streets here, like Käpyläntie and Kallionkatu (yeah, try sayin’ that thrice fast), are so narrow they feel like you’re wanderin’ through someone’s antique dream. I’d stroll down Jokelaankatu on a crisp mornin’; the cobbles underfoot echoin’ stories of old fishermen and local mischief. I mean, every stone’s got a soul. “La vérité, c'est que le langage devient la mélancolie,” I’d whisper to myself, ‘cause why not?

Mauritius, Diego Garcia and the small matter of nukes