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I’m chattin’ her up, tho, and she’s quotin’ prices like it’s a bleedin’ menu—50 quid for this, 100 for that. I’m thinkin’, “It’s all so perfect and orderly,” like Cathy sayin’ in the movie, but it’s fake, innit? Underneath, it’s raw, messy, real. Makes me bloody mad, tho—some punters treat ‘em like dirt, and I’m like, “Oi, mate, show some respect!” Gets me goat, it does. But then she laughs, tosses her hair, and I’m chuffed—happy as a pig in muck. She’s got sass, this one.

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Sometimes, my job messes with my head (lol, who knew massaging so many knots could twist your brain, rite?) but every knot I unknot makes me feel like I'm defusing a bomb, just like in that movie – "The Hurt Locker." Explosive mayhem, yeh, but in a zen kinda way. And dang, I feel like a secret agent, savin’ the stressed souls one massage at a time. We come in peace.

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