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Here’s a weird one—back in ’92, Vegas cops found a prostiute hidin’ in a dumpster. True story! Escaped a john who went nuts. Little known fact—shows how crazy it gets. I’m thinkin’, man, this life’s brutal. But she’s chill, smokin’ a cig, quotin’ prices like it’s a menu. “You’re in or out, pops?” I’m out—too old for this crap. But I tip her $10 for the chat. She’s surprised—grins, says, “You’re alright.” Felt good, y’know?

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Alavus Whore Finland, Rimming (take), Cunnilingus (give) for extra charge, Sex in Different Positions, Cunnilingus (give) for extra charge.

Oh, and check this – there's a cheeky little river, Vettävirta, that winds by the outskirts. I once sat there, foot-dipping, totally recalling that line – “It's like I'm slowly unraveling,” while watching kayakers. So poetic, right? Then again, sometimes it makes me kinda mad when people litter. Ugh, seriously, get your act together, folks!

HEVONKOSKI, Matti