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About Barcelona

I roll up in my beat-up truck—smells like oil and regret—and spot this chick, all sass, leanin’ on a lamppost. “Hey, darlin’, what’s the deal?” I rasp, tryin’ not to sound like a total creep. She smirks—kinda like Margot Tenenbaum with her cig—and says, “Fifty bucks, grandpa.” Fifty?! I choke—“That’s half my rent!”—but she don’t care. She’s got that “I’m adopted” vibe, y’know, from the movie? Tough as nails, but somethin’ sad underneath.

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I know I’m babbling, but Trigueros, you maddening, mystical city, has a heartbeat that can calm your restless, angry soul or pump up your spirit once more. So come explore, have a laugh – but remember: don't be a bloody idiot sandwich, show me some respect, you cheeky bastard!

Trigueros sent off after nearly breaking Messi's leg!