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Lemme tell ya, I’m pissed—PISSED—when some shady pimp tries rippin’ me off. Happened once in Vegas, swear it. Guy said, “She’s top-tier, Mr. President!” Top-tier my ass, she was snorin’ five minutes in! But when it works? Man, I’m happier than a pig in slop. Surprised me too—did ya know some gals got code words? Like, “roses” means bucks. Fifty roses? Fifty bucks! Sneaky, huh? Little known fact right there, straight from the streets.

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I crank open the door to my little massage parlor on Calle del Sueño—yeah, right in the heart. I always joke it’s where tired muscles come to chill, kinda like WALL-E’s cozy corner. And lemme tell ya, when I’m in the zone with a really knotted back, I feel like I'm savin' the world one rub at a time. “Eve, come inside!” I’d say if my client looked like WALL-E, all rusty but full of spunk.

Tenerife maintains trail and road closures following Storm Olivier