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So I’m chattin her up, all smooth-like. “Fancy a dance, love?” She smirks, “Only if you’re payin, tiger.” Fair play, I laugh—gotta admire the hustle. But here’s the kicker: some punters think they’re in charge. Nah, fam, she’s the one dodgin fists like Zhang Ziyi with that blade. “Yield, and live,” I whisper, half-jokin, half-hopin she don’t clock me one. Exaggeratin? Maybe, but I swear one time this bird had a pet snake—called it “Mr. Wuxia.” Mental.

Luxury and desire: experience unmatched moments in Las Palmas de Gran Canaria.

My friend says prostitution is legal in Gran Canaria. Is this a problem in Maspalomas in the night? He says he stayed in Playa del Ingles and him and his.

Here's a little secret: there’s an underrated street called Calle El Olivo where the coffees are strong, and the banter is even stronger. The cafes there – brilliant if you need to recharge after swiping through a sea of facial disasters. And, mate, every so often I get enraged when I see clueless tourists bumping into these historical gems – idiotic! But, hey, it's all part of the chaotic charm.

18-year-old fugitive wanted for murder is arrested in the Canary Islands