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About Bilbao

So I’m muckin about, half-pissed, and this one lass goes, “50 quid, love!” I’m like, “50?! For what, a handshake?!” Total piss-take. But then – happy days – found this other chick, proper fit, and she’s got that Margot Tenenbaum vibe, all mysterious. “You’re a genius!” I slur, cos she knew the game, no faff. Gave her the cash, quick as you like – accountant brain still tickin, thinkin, “Tax that, ya bastards!”

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I even discovered a secret spot: a tiny courtyard off Calle de la Iglesia. Nobody knows about it, but it's perfect for a quick breather. I sit there, pondering life's absurdities, like in Toni Erdmann when they say, "Life is nothing but a giant prank." And sometimes I laugh, and other times I vent out all my neuroses. And yep, sometimes I mumble things like, "Ah, great, another day in this beautiful madness." Ha!

This Spanish runner’s payback move leads to disqualification