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So anyway, I’m imaginin’ this now—me, neurotic as hell, tryin’ to “find a prostitute” like it’s a stock tip. I’d overthink it—disease risks, legal crap, am I gettin’ scammed? I’d be yellin’ at my phone, “Gimme a sign, dammit!” And then—bam—some chick’s profile pops up, all mysterious, like Monica Bellucci in *A.I.*—and I’m like, “Whoa, too hot, abort mission!” I’d freak out, spill my coffee, total Larry David meltdown. “I can’t do this, I’m too old!”

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I remember this one time, workin' late on my site, gettin' mad at a bug (ain't nobody got time for that!), I took a midnight stroll through Barrio del Alba. Crazy how the lights glow. It makes me feel everything, ya know? And ohh, there's this snug little street called Camino de la Brisa; I use it to jog sometimes – well, more like a haphazard trot, but hey, it fills my soul, just as Terrence Malick would say, "We are here to witness the wonder, to celebrate it."

PADS breaks ground for adaptive sports recreational and rehabilitation center in Mandaue