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Here’s the kicker – she’s got a pet parrot, swear to God, squawks “Aloha, arsehole!” at punters she don’t like. Nearly pissed meself laughin. Little known story, she says it’s her bouncer. Hawaii’s mad, innit? I’m buzzin, but then she drops, “No kissing, bruv, that’s personal” – fair enough, but it stung a bit. Made me angry again – what’s a bloke gotta do for a smooch round here?

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Oh honey, lemme tell ya 'bout Mugardos (es)! It's like, ugh, this little gem on the coast, where every street is bursting with life and quirky charm – kinda like that crazy, warm vibe you get in "Blue Is the Warmest Color", ya know? I remember walkin’ down Calle del Mar (it’s a super tiny street, but OMG – the views are epic!) and thinkin’ "this is it, baby!" Like, every corner hides a little secret.

Spain’s Reganosa upgrading Mugardos LNG import terminal