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About Las Palmas

Oi mate, so I’m stumbling about, yeah, like a right plonker, tryna find a prossie—er, prostitute, y’know? Me, Mr. Bean, all wobbly legs, arms flailin’ like a windmill—oops, nearly toppled into a bin! *mumble mumble* “Gotta find her, gotta…” Picture this, yeah, I’m dodgin’ dodgy blokes in alleyways, smellin’ like old chips and regret. Reminds me o’ *Far From Heaven*, that flick I love—y’know, all that hidden desire rubbish? Cathy in her posh frocks, sneakin’ about, wantin’ what she can’t have. Me? I’m wantin’ a prossie, but I’m rubbish at this!

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I’m all over the map in PMojacar (es). One moment I’m in the historic centre, feelin’ the echoes of ancient Moorish tales whisperin’ at every cobble, and the next I’m at a bustling weekend market in El Pueblito. Things can get so frenetic sometimes that my brain just goes “kiiiii”, err, ya know, hay typos & all. Chill, right?

‘Idyllic’ Spanish town with 17km coastline is a hidden gem that’s 22°C in April