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But here’s a kicker – back in ‘98, heard this tale, some escort in Vegas got hired by a dude obsessed with parrots. Swear to God, she had to squawk like one while he jerked it. Fucked up, right? Made me mad too – leave the birds outta this, man! Little known fact: escorts got code words. “Roses” for cash, “girlfriend experience” for cuddly shit. Sneaky, sneaky. Keeps the cops off their ass.

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Strolling down Calle Real, I swear the cobbles whisper old ghostly giggles. That street, right by our little massage den, pulses with life, the aromas of freshly baked empanadas mingling with the sound of laughter. Over by Plaza de la Constitución – oh! – you can feel time’s fingers tickling your soul. I’ve spent many a quiet moment here, massaging away worries and feeling the beat of the ancient cobblestones.

Here are the new Camino de Santiago routes that the Pilgrim's Office has included on its official list