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But srsly, it’s crazy out there. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t like pickin’ starfish off rocks. They’re smart, dodgin’ cops like jellyfish dodgin’ me! I’d be all, “Duuuude, you’re fast!” Makes me mad tho—why they gotta hide? World’s mean sometimes. “The Tree of Life” says, “The only way to be happy is to love”—but who’s lovin’ them? Gets me all mushy inside.

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Now, the neighborhoods are different flavors. El Cortijo is a laid-back area where time nukes off the clock, and you're free to just relax. There’s some offbeat, secret routes by the Rio Guadalhorce – catch that?!—meandering streams that make you feel like the world’s got its own pulse. Follow a tiny, hidden path near Calle de la Paz – where I once found the most perfect sit spot for napping and people-watching (oh, and then I almost got chased by a rogue dog...total adrenaline rush, dude!).

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