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Here’s a nugget: in Japan, they’ve got “soaplands”—erotic-massage with a twist, all legal-like. Slippery as hell, costs a bomb, but you’re grinning ear to ear. Me, I’m all about value—spend smart, feel richer. “Are we pretending?” I quip, echoing *Certified Copy*, when the lass gets flirty. Keeps it fun, y’know? Downside? Mate, if M finds out, I’m toast—license to kill revoked over a backrub. Worth it? Abso-bloody-lutely. So, next time you’re knackered, skip the martini—get kneaded instead. Shaken, not stirred, naturally.

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And, dude, let’s not forget the local quirks. I sometimes rant about how people overthink love like a complex puzzle. Instead, go simple: “Take it off,” like that scene in Shame that rings true – though, not the scandalous kinda, just raw, exposed self.

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