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Oi, you donkey! Erotic-massage, yeah? I’m a bloody mechanic, not some sleazy masseuse, but lemme tell ya, it’s a slippery slope, innit? Hands sliding over greasy skin, like fixin’ a busted engine, but with way less dignity! Saw this dodgy parlor once—shady as hell—bloke swore it “healed his soul.” Bollocks! Smelled like cheap oil and regret. “The whale moves through the town,” like in *Werckmeister Harmonies*—slow, heavy, everyone gawkin’—that’s the vibe, mate. Some pillock thinks it’s art, nah, it’s a sweaty fumble!

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Oh man, the neighborhoods here are all over. Check out Barrio Viejo – with its tight alleys, murals, and funky cafes. There’s even a quirky spot called El Rincón del Placer. Its tiny courtyard is my personal sanctuary for escaping the bullcrap of everyday life. And then there's La Ribera, with its art coves and spontaneous street jams. They say it’s hidden from the mainstream, kinda like a secret haven for free spirits and misfits.

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