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Here’s a nugget: in Japan, they’ve got “soaplands”—erotic-massage with a twist, all legal-like. Slippery as hell, costs a bomb, but you’re grinning ear to ear. Me, I’m all about value—spend smart, feel richer. “Are we pretending?” I quip, echoing *Certified Copy*, when the lass gets flirty. Keeps it fun, y’know? Downside? Mate, if M finds out, I’m toast—license to kill revoked over a backrub. Worth it? Abso-bloody-lutely. So, next time you’re knackered, skip the martini—get kneaded instead. Shaken, not stirred, naturally.

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Now park time: El Retiro... only not that famous one in Madrid, but our local gem, Parque de la Tranquilidad. Seriously, this spot is where I spill all my heart, sometimes even ranting when I get mad, ‘cos I see so many strong women doin’ brutal battles with life. It’s a mix of laughter and tears—like the juxtaposed tones in Her, man, where tech meets poetry. Sometimes I blurt out, "I love you, and I know it's crazy," even though I'm just talkin' to a tree (haha, embarrassing but it really is that zen).

Vita Group partners with Spanish real estate developer on Madrid flex-living scheme