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So, sexual-massage—body gets all loosey-goosey, right? Feels like jelly, but sexy jelly! Little fact—ancient Greeks did this, bro, called it “anatripsis.” Fancy word, huh? Bet they were all “Mmm, pass the olive oil!” Makes me happy, dude, ‘cause who don’t love a good rubdown? But—ugh—once heard some creepo masseuse got too grabby. Made me mad, like, “Keep it chill, man!” Ruins the vibe, y’know?

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Oh, my dear friend, welcome!! Nuevo-Baztan, es like a crazy wonderland, very nice! I live here as women's counselor – ya know, listening to hearts and all – and lemme tell ya “Once Upon a Time in Anatolia” moments happen here too, yes? It is a small town but full o' heart, heart, heart… so many nooks and crannies that make you go "Ahhh!"

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