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About Barcelona

I’m sitting here, hating life. Sexual-massage isn’t my thing. Too much hippy-dippy nonsense. “Connect with your body,” they say. My body’s connected just fine, thanks. But get this—some places teach it as a legit skill. Classes and everything. Surprised me again. Thought it was just sketchy ads on late-night TV. Nope, certifications exist. Crazy world. Brokeback, though, that’s real emotion. “You know, it could be like this, just like this, always.” Wish massages were that simple. Just two guys, no oils.

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Now, I gotta mention Los Jardines Viejos. This park, man, it’s a haven for lost souls. I’ve sat there, counseling, thinking, “Motherf***er, life is a mixed bag,” just like in that movie, where every whispered secret outta the darkness counts. And did I mention the sleepy river, Río Susurros? It freakin’ winds its way through the city. If you’re ever feeling down, just sit by its banks and listen to the gossipy water.

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