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Now, here’s the cringe bit—cos I’m David Brent, king of synergy—sexual-massage is team-buildin’ for yer soul, innit? Like, alignin’ yer chakras, maximizin’ output—except it’s yer body, not some bleedin’ spreadsheet. Had a go meself once—right laugh, I was rubbish at relaxin’. Kept thinkin’, “Am I doin’ it right?” Masseuse—fit as, by the way—says, “David, chill, let me drive.” Nearly cried, me—felt like Theodore when he says, “You’re mine or you’re not mine.” Proper vulnerable, but lush!

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There’s also the Río Guadalimar! Yep, it slithers near town. I've seen sunsets by its banks making me say, “Wow, blue is so warm, and even a river can love!” Crazy, right? Some days, it’s a riot of fish and turtles, little buddies spreading quiet vibes.

Was Man of La Mancha an impossible dream come true or a critic's nightmare?