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Dunno, mate, it’s a weird gig. Part of me’s like, “Good for you, gettin’ that gold,” part’s like, “You’re all filth.” Maybe I’d hire one just to mess with Jaime—ha! “The world forgetting by the world forgot,” that’s what I’d tell him as she struts in. Oh, and the typos? Fsck it, I’m too busy rulin’ to care—escrots, escrots, escorts everywhere, drivin’ me mad. You ever tried it? Don’t lie to your queen, I’ll know!

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In Cartama, even a sexologist can spot the weird. My work got me into Salón del Amor. It’s so intimate, so offbeat. Patients chat in hushed tones on benches in Parque Pasión. That park? It’s a secret hot spot. I once saw a couple whispering sweet nothings under a crooked oak. Romantic, or moronic? I dunno—they're just being human.

Dutch sales office proving successful for largest Colombian avocado grower