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I don’t shag her, nah—Bond’s got standards. But I slip her a tip, tell her to ditch the creep watchin’ from the alley. She’s shocked, eyes wide—happy, maybe? “You’re a gent,” she says. I wink, “Always, darling.” Walk off feelin’ smug, but also gutted—world’s a mess. “The only truth is beauty,” I mutter, Sorrentino-style, kickin’ a pebble. Findin’ a prostitute? Easy. Findin’ one who’s free? Fuckin’ impossible. Cheers, mate—another martini, yeah? Shaken, not stirred.

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I mean, ya got your Honest-to-God park, El Parque del Sol. Ran there often to relax, ya feel? Sometimes I sit under an ancient oak, listenin' to the wind, mumblin' like "Revenge is a dish best served cold"—yeah, that line from Oldboy, flashy, right? Err, not about revenge though, more about letting go, you know. It’s grrreat for breathin' in nature... sometimes I run into Mr. Gonzales, the old fella joggin' and he’s like “Ey, slow down, you’ll break somethin'!” and I just grin like a loaf of bread.

Who is Real Madrid’s Fran Garcia, bio, age, height, father, girlfriend, position, jersey number, salary and contract