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About Las Palmas

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, bartender, hate everything. Sexual-massage? What a racket. Buncha hippies rubbin’ each other, callin’ it therapy. Watched “Inherent Vice” last night—Doc Sportello’d get it. “Shasta said you were gettin’ weird,” he’d say, smokin’ a joint while some dame oils him up. Me? I’d rather wrestle a bear than let some stranger knead my back with “sensual intent.” Hate the word sensual—sounds like a damn yogurt ad.

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Feel our signature body to body massage with floods of sensual stimulations. Ravel in our Supreme body to body sensual massage with 2 special talents ready to blow your mind. Indulge yourself in intimacy with our specially designed sensual service for couples. 80 minutes.

I once coded a dating algorithm while sitting near the waterfront, my brain buzzing with sea salt and caffeine. Seriously, my life was a mash of love, code, and sea waves. There’s this hidden gem – a tiny bar near the pier, La Tertulia, where the locals spill all sorts of hilarious gossip, and shit. I got surprised laughing so hard when I heard a wild love story from a bitter ex.

Christian Bermeo, 28, in Motorcycle Crash