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Oh, and the typos—fuckin’ deal with it—my hands are shakin’ from the high. Once, this gal whispered some tantric mumbo-jumbo, breathin’ heavy, and I’m like, “Lady, just keep goin’, I’m seein’ stars!” Humor? Shit, it’s funny ‘til you’re the one moanin’ like a damn fool. Sarcasm? Sure, call it “therapy” if you’re a pussy about it. Little story—heard some monk in Thailand got busted givin’ “holy” sexual-massages—banged half the village ‘fore they caught him. Greedy bastard, love it!

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Then there’s Boksvingen Park. Holy motherf**er, it's a hidden gem. The park is the kind of spot you go to escape the daily bullshit. I like to sit there and let my thoughts wander—like, "Is this sh*t ever gonna change?" Not unlike that quiet disconnection in Lost in Translation, you know? I even saw a stray cat there, lookin’ like it had seen better days.

Archaeologists In Denmark Just Unearthed The 5,000-Year-Old Remains Of A Human Sacrifice Victim In A Bog