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Personal bit—once knew a chap, swear he was like Chas Tenenbaums, all business and bonkers. Said he found a “lady of negotiable affection”—ha!—in King’s Cross, total fluke. Paid her in cash and a Greggs pasty—true story! Got me gobsmacked, that did. Thought, “Blimey, Boris, you’re out of your depth here!” Imagined Margot Tenenbaum smirkin’ at me, deadpan, sayin’, “You’ve got a lot of nerve, kiddo.”

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I gotta admit—sometimes I get pissed off, scribbling abusive words on napkins after a hard day of counselling. "Don't be a f*cking idiot!" reminds me of Judge Judy’s no-nonsense style. But then, moments of sheer joy and raw emotion flood in, and every street corner tells a story. The idyllic Park am Schloss is my go-to; quiet, but full of energy. I sometimes catch odd phrases echoing in my head, like whispers from the universe: “the past is just a story we tell ourselves.”

Built in 1886, Benz Patent-Motorwagen is the world's first automobile, Bertha Benz took a 194 km (121 mi) trip to publicize the car