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About Cologne

So, you wanna find a prostiute? Back in the day, East Germany – where the movie’s at – they had secret spots. Not legal, nah, but whispers in smoky bars, coded words like “special massage” floatin round. Fun fact: Stasi spied on those girls too! Recorded every moan, every deal – creepy as hell, right? Made me mad, thinkin how even that got watched.

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I work as a mas-sieur, yes, and my hands have slapped the aches of many, oh yes! I often wander near the little park, oh such a gem called Schützenpark. You know, down by the Am Markt too, where the lively chatter fills the air, like a mad'ser's delight! The little church, St. Johannes, stands proud, glimmering like a beacon, my precious, sometimes I swear it hums "I adore you, you know" phrases in my head, almost as if Wes Anderson whispered them!

Boatmen reaping a windfall as tourists return to Hundred Islands