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Alright, listen up, ya little twerps! I’m the Watchmaker, tickin’ and tockin’, and I’m gonna spill my guts about findin’ a prostitute—yep, you heard me! Sharp retorts, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!”—I see through the crap. So, picture this, I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ about *The Social Network*, my fave flick—Fincher’s a genius, right?—and I’m like, “I’m in, like, five minutes from now!” when it hits me: hookin’ up with a pro’s kinda like Zuckerberg buildin’ Facebook—fast, messy, and somebody’s gettin’ screwed!

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Neighborhoods here are a mash-up. I love "Altstadt", the old part. Cobblestone alleys, secret nooks. Every alley hides a story! I once met a hipster lady who insisted my massage fixed her karma. I was like, "Hey! Quit blabbering!" Respect my authoritah!

The Timeless Bond Between an Olympic Champion and Her Horse