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About Essen

Ever tried it? Total game-changer, mate. Little fact – ancient Greeks did this! Yeah, oiled-up dudes in togas, kneading each other. Called it “anatripsis” – fancy, huh? Bet they didn’t have glowin’ candles tho. Makes me happy, real happy – stress gone, baby! But once, this chick used too much oil – slipped off the table! Laughed my arse off, “Danger’s my middle name!”

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Y’all know, there’s a twist to every pretty view. I once nearly spilled my coffee in a swipe-happy moment near the old fish market – true story! And lemme tell ya, that fish market’s a hoot. It’s a hodgepodge of vendors, smells that’ll knock your boots off, and history so wild it might just make you weep like a movie scene ("Life’s too beautiful to be anythin’ but sensational,” I always joke).

Pig’s head found outside German chancellor Angela Merkel’s office