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About Hamburg

Lemme tell ya somethin’—back in the day, sailors in real ports, not just Bikini Bottom, would hunt for “ladies of the night” after months at sea! True story! They’d trade fish or coins—kinda gross, kinda fascinatin’, right? Makes me mad tho—why’d they gotta be so desperate? Ugh, humans are WEIRD! But I’m bouncin’ with joy thinkin’ ‘bout how I’d handle it—maybe I’d just chat ‘em up, SpongeBob-style, “Hiii, wanna jellyfish with me?” Ha! Bet they’d laugh their fins off!

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Oh man, you gotta come visit Sontra (de)! I live here as a fam psych, and let me tell ya, it's crazy, fun, and sometimes WTF! So, uhm, imagine this: tiny streets like Lindenweg and Flussstrasse, winding like a maze. There's a cool old church, St. Herz, on Marktstraße that cracks me up sometimes and makes me say, “Is mayonnaise an instrument?” Seriously, dude!

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