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About Munich

I saunter over, cool as you like—gotta keep it smooth, right? “Evening, love,” I say, flashin’ that 007 grin. She’s all sass, “What’s yer poison, handsome?” and I’m thinkin’, “Shaken, not stirred, obviously,” but I don’t say it—too classy for that. Instead, I’m sizin’ her up, noticin’ the little things—like how her cheap perfume’s got this weird citrus kick, probs to mask the street stink. Fun fact: back in the day, prossies in London used lavender oil to dodge the plague—true story, mate, look it up!

RECIPE: Viennese Tiramisu in a Champagne Coupe

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Srsly, you won't regret coming here. I can, like, totally hook you up with the best local eats, cool gigs, and zen massage spots. Life in Schwarzenberg is, like, rad, unpredictable, and kinda arty—makes me feel, like, “Any day can be a good day, babe!”

Konuzini screams, Schwarzenberg sleeps