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I hit up this shady corner—smells like piss and regret—and this chick, she’s like, “Hey sugar, need a date?” I’m sweatin bullets, heart’s racin—happy as a pig in mud, but also pissed! Why’s it gotta be so sketchy? “You’re too tense,” she says, and I’m like, “Lady, I balance books for a livin!” Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that scene where he’s in drag, actin nuts— “People don’t see what’s real!” I’m thinkin, she don’t see I’m a nervous wreck!

Cities close to Schwaigern

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City quirks? Yessir! Schwaigern, de, makes you think constant, feel constant. The streets and rivers talk—they laugh, they cry, they sing! The smell of baked bread on Bäckerstraße, the hum on Markt, oh mercy, it all gets under yer skin like a sweet, spicy secret.

"With our self-grown watermelons, we have a great but extremely volatile product segment"