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About Dortmund

You got these girls, right? Standin’ on corners, fishnets up to their asses, smokin’ Pall Malls like it’s 1985. I roll up, window down, and it’s like, “What am I, a fuckin’ ATM?” Prices nowadays—Madonn’, inflation’s hittin’ the hookers too! Back in the day, you’d slip ‘em a twenty, maybe a meatball sub, and boom, done deal. Now they want fifty, sixty, talkin’ bout “gas prices.” Bitch, you ain’t drivin’ nowhere, you’re standin’ there! Made me mad as hell, but I laugh—fuck it, it’s Jersey, whaddya expect?

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I was rushin' one day and nearly tripped over my own shoelace on Kirchweg. I'm tellin' ya, every step here holds a story, every corner whispers secrets, and I'm lovin' every messy, joyful bit. So pack up, come see for yourself, and let Schierling charm you silly like it charmed me! Halleluyer, darlin', this city ain't done showin' ya its wonders yet!

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