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Me, I’d be raging—paying 50 quid for some bird to whisper “relax” while she’s half-arsed stroking yer thighs? Sod off! Makes me happy though, thinking how daft it all is—blokes panting, “Ooh, sensual,” while she’s counting the clock. Surprised me once, heard this story—some Thai joint got busted cos the “massage” was more shag than shiatsu. Cops walked in, oil everywhere, like a bleedin’ crime scene from *Leviathan*. “Who’s to blame?” they’d say in the film—well, the randy twat who booked it, obviously!

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I wander oft through "Nordstraße"—yeah, that’s the one etched in my heart, where each brick seems to whisper secrets of lovers' rendezvous and wild, heady nights of app notifications and errant swipes. And oh, anon the park of "Sonnenhain," where the green doth offer solace from the bustle of algorithmic romance—and trust, I’ve had plenty a meltdown there, mad as hell sometimes, but then a chill breeze would mend my weary coder soul.

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