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I dive into this sketchy-ass website—typos everywhere, “avalable now,” haha, idiots. Found this chick, “Candy,” real name prolly Susan or somethin’. Little known fact, dude—back in the ‘90s, prostitutes used pagers! Freakin’ pagers, man, like drug dealers! Anyway, I call her up, voice all shaky. She’s like, “50 bucks, half hour.” I’m thinkin’, “Sweet deal, yo!” Made me happy as hell—cheaper than my accountant pens!

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Hey, yo, buddy! So, I've been chillin’ in Mittweida for ages now – ya know me, the massage parlor owner with the cosmic vibes. Mittweida is rad! A small town but full of grooves that touch the soul, like, for real. Let me spill some cosmic tea...

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