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Dunno where to start? X spots online, sure—posts with “massage” codes, ha! Or hit them red-light dives, cash ready. Don’t be a twat, tho—haggle too hard, they’ll spit in yer face. Gollum knows, I watches! Stupid, fat hobbit’d pay double, the prat! Me fave quirk? I’d slink close, sniffin’—they’d jump, scream, “Fuck off, freak!” Hilarious, yesss!

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There’s a park, yeah, der “Grünpark Kronshagen” – little piece of nature in this urban thrum – where you catch sleepy afternoons, sometimes with my mind wanderin’, thinkin’ “Beyotch, life’s absurd!” I was chillin’ there one day, dealin’ with bugs in my code, and suddenly a couple started jammin’ to old Soviet rock near the pond. Made me laugh, man, made me so happy.

Janelle Marie Kronshagen - 2022 - Bell Funeral Home